A little bit of grieving with some added hope

Yesterday I attended the funeral of a coworker.  He worked as an EMT and paramedic before returning to school and receiving his nursing degree.  For the next 20 years he split his time between the ambulance as a paramedic and the emergency room as a nurse.  After over 30 years of working on the ambulance, he retired to allow more free time to do other things he enjoyed.

The funeral service was lovely and emotional.  I never knew him on the ambulance, but knew him as an emergency room nurse.  While going through the paramedic program I did many ER shifts with him and he taught me skills and told me exciting stories as a paramedic.  He was very smart, kind, and was always willing to tell a joke or two.  Since becoming a paramedic, I'd see him as I brought my patients to the ER and he would still be telling jokes.

Because he was a former member of the fire department, the department was fairly involved in the funeral.  It was a neat and memorable experience to be a part of it.  The color guard, pipe brigade, a fire engine, an ambulance, other department members and police officers were all involved.  It was a special ceremony and I'll never forget that with the pipe brigade playing behind us, we stood in our uniforms, saluting the casket as it passed by to be lifted onto the fire engine.  Once the casket was secured, the processional of emergency vehicles, family, and close friends drove to the cemetery for a lovely burial service.

Death is hard, but I find hope and comfort in my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ that families are eternal, and that each of us will live again one day.

This or that

Today I woke up with every intention of going on a run within the first 30-60 minutes of being awake.  Every intention.  In fact, I went to bed last night ready and actually looking forward to this run.  I'm weird right?  {At least it's a healthy type of weird}.

I woke up slow, getting up before 9am.  I was dressed in my long spandex with my Asics, all ready to go just before 10am. {Reminder: the long spandex is necessary--I live in Idaho where it is 14 degrees Fahrenheit at 10am this time of year}.  Long story short, I somehow became distracted and preoccupied with other important, as well as unimportant, things that kept me from starting my run.  

.....2:30pm rolls around and I'm finally turning on my garmin and jogging out the door.  

After a few hours of being dressed to run and still sitting on the couch, had the thought crossed my mind to not run?  Yes.  Lately, I've noticed that if my training for a marathon comes up in conversation, the persons listening assume I am above and beyond what I actually am.  Well surprise, I have my days where I would just rather get my errands and cleaning done, or lounge in my sweats instead of going for a two hour run.  Their reaction to my crave for running includes thoughts of how it 'comes natural' for me and how they could never get themselves 'to do that'.  My reaction is, why not??

I wasn't born with any supernatural power that enables me with a magical desire and capability to run long distances.  I haven't always been a 'runner'.  This desire and passion for running is a recent development, believe it or not.  And if I had to put a date on it, I'd say I didn't start to love distances greater than say, five miles, until about August 2010 {basically a year and a half ago}.  

The reason I mention this is because towards the end of my run today, I began thinking about how I could have {and almost did} chosen not to run.  It would have been easy to come up with justifications to lounge today, run tomorrow.

My point is, is that there is no reason you couldn't decide, just as I did, to use your agency and choose to 'go run' if that is what you desire.  There may be an array of other desires you have for yourself, and all I'm saying is maybe all you need to do, is decide to do it.  It seems a person's biggest limitations are the ones they place on themselves.  We have more will power than we think and we need to give ourselves more credit.  Of course, we would be nothing without God, but even He knows we have greater potential than we could imagine. 

Embrace the nike slogan already, and 'just do it' {whatever "it" may be}.

Thoughts

This past week has been busy, similar to the preceding weeks.  I'm not writing to complain--that's not what this blog is for.  Although I have not decided or known what this blog is for yet, I know it is not for negativity.  However, I feel content expressing my acknowledgement of hectic and busy days because it reminds me that it is normal to have 'those days' or weeks for that matter.  It is an inevitable and bittersweet part of life.

Thankfully, it is because of the negative, difficult, and busy times in my life that I can better appreciate and recognize the simple joys and blessings in each day.  I don't have to be traveling Europe on lying on an exotic beach to have a good day {although I wouldn't pass up the opportunity either}.

Today I am grateful for the education I am receiving, despite the difficulties that inevitably arise while striving to excel in it.  I told my sister-in-law the other week that when I start to get overwhelmed with school, I just think of her and how much busier than me she must be.  You see, she's in medical school.  I would be lying if I said I wouldn't love to be in medical school right along with her.  But nobody asked, and, clearly I am not.  Maybe one day...

If I've learned anything about busy and stressful times, it is that no matter how hard they seemed in the moment, I've always appreciated them later in life.  Not only have I appreciated them, but I felt indebted to those experiences.  Without them I wouldn't be as prepared for the next busy time in my life.  How else can I learn and experience personal growth?  I hope I can continue progressing and learning, to eventually reach my potential--whatever it may be.

Now back to writing my research paper...

Kindness

Last week I saw this short video and it warmed me from the inside out.  I couldn't help but share it on this sabbath day.

Putting in the miles

I love to run.  Love.  This hasn't always been the case, but that's a different story for a different post.  This amateur love seed was planted when I "trained" for my very first race, a half-marathon, last fall.  That seed began to blossom as I trained {this time I actually did a training program} for and ran my second half-marathon with one of my best friends this past June.  The training program we were doing, however, wasn't for a half-marathon.  No, no the training program I was talked into doing {by said friend} was for, everyone hold your breath, a MARATHON.  Man that word is scary.  Don't remember how, why, or who, what, when, or where for that matter, that I agreed to train for a marathon.  I had plans to run a marathon in March 2012 with my dad, but never once did I think I would be running one in two and a half weeks.  

According to many fitness experts, a person only needs to train up to 10 miles to know they {their body} can and will finish a half-marathon.  A person training for a full marathon likewise only needs to train up to 18 or 20 miles to know they can and will finish a full marathon.  Last wednesday, I completed my longest run in my training program.  I ran 20 miles in 3:05:15, averaging a 9:15min/mile pace.  How did I feel when I finished?  Incredible.  I was thrilled, I couldn't believe it.  It was a great feeling of accomplishment and it gave me energy and hope for future accomplishments.  On a different note, I was also incredibly hungry and sweaty.  I couldn't wait to make my protein shake, stretch, and take a 25min shower!  Following a nice relaxing shower, I unfortunately had to take an ICE bath.  Ever heard of them?  They're wonderful and you should be jealous you haven't taken one.  Kidding.  Step 1) fill up a tub with the coldest water possible until it will cover your thighs when sitting in the tub.  Step 2) Once in the bath, dump bags of ice into the bath. Step 3) grit your teeth and just dump the ice in already! {you are allowed to scream while dumping the ice}  The ice bath is taken to help prevent injury.  And, believe you me, I have a testimony of ice baths {all thanks to my Aunt Lydia who made me do it}.  I'm convinced they help more than I may ever know, and I'm glad I won't have to find out how my legs would've felt otherwise.  I even decided to share the picture taken of me freezing my buns off in the ice bath {no worries, I have shorts on}.  I was just starting to dump the ice in...